A Lie About Jodie Marsh

For every sentence that Jodie Marsh utters, a baby dies.

A Lie About Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson refuses to go within a hundred feet of cactuses because he has recurring nightmares in which his eyes are gouged out by their spines.

A Lie About Robbie Williams

Robbie Williams has a glass eye, having accidentally gouged out the original whilst playing 'Pin The Tail On The Donkey' as a child.

A Lie About Rebecca Loos

Rebecca Loos has had 78 people click on 'Yes' on the 'Would you gangrape me and leave me crying in a gutter?' application on her Facebook page.

A Lie About Kerry Katona

Blind people are allowed to see Kerry Katona so that they can run in the opposite direction if she approaches them in the street.

A Lie About Jordan (aka. Katie Price)

Jordan (aka. Katie Price) is, in fact, not a human being but an intricate Lego Technic model covered in latex. She is made up of over 10,000 pieces. Her famous breasts are made up of nearly 2,000 pieces each. Each night she is carefully disassembled by a team of professionals, who then lovingly reconstruct her the next day.

A Lie About Daniel Radcliffe

Daniel Radcliffe kills a single beautiful swan with his bare teeth every day.